Going on a first date can be exciting, but it can also be nerve-wracking. It’s sometimes difficult to find the balance between giving too much of yourself and not enough; asking the right questions without being invasive; or evaluating the person in front of you without misjudging him. Despite the unpredictability of dating, there is one rule I have always followed: Never sleep with someone on the first date, and here are 7 reasons why.

1. It can make it harder to get to know each other. It seems counter-intuitive, right? If you sleep with a man on the first date, you’ll be missing out on the opportunity to get to know him on a deeper level. You’ll be more focused on the physical aspects of the relationship and less focused on getting to know his personality and values, which could be potential dealbreakers. Society tends to minimise the impact physical intimacy has on our psyche, but having sex with someone often causes an (sometimes unwanted) emotional bond, and if this happens with a person you barely know, you might be in for serious disappointment.

2. It can lead to regret. You might regret not taking the time to really get to know him and make sure he was also interested in getting to know you and not looking for something else. You might have given yourself to someone who was only interested in a night of fun. In this situation, the regret of not acting is not as bad as the regret of having acted too quickly.

3. It can put you at risk. Do you usually follow complete strangers to their house? Would you be comfortable with a random man on the bus touching your breast? I guess not. Then remember that the man you are meeting on this first date is just as stranger than the two above. You’ve probably come across stories of women going on dates with men that they later discovered to be sex offenders (and more sinister things). Your safety and life are more valuable than anything. Sleeping on the first date with a total stranger can put you at risk of sexual assault or other violence. A study done by the US Department of Justice shows that a percentage of rapes happen after a dating-app first in-person meeting. Sometimes wolves dress like sheep, so stay safe at all times.

4. It can lead to feeling used. If a man only wants to sleep with you, he may not be interested in getting to know you on a deeper level. This can leave you feeling used and objectified.

5. It can set a precedent. And that may send a wrong message. If you sleep with a man on the first date, he may expect you to sleep with him on future dates. This can make it difficult to set boundaries and have a healthy relationship. He may think that you’re easy or that you’re not looking for anything serious. This could lead to him treating you differently or expecting more from you than you’re willing to give.

6. It can lower your self-esteem. If you sleep with a man on the first date and he doesn’t call you back, it can damage your self-esteem. You may start to think that you’re not good enough, or that you’re only valuable for your body. Set boundaries for your own mental well-being.

7. Know your value. Don’t accept less than the respect you deserve. Value yourself as someone worth knowing and worth putting effort into getting to know. Show him you need more to be impressed, forcing him to show what he really has to offer as a man.

If what you are looking for is a meaningful relationship, it’s important to take the time to get to know someone before you sleep with them. Focus on building a deeper connection based on common values, common understandings, or passions you might have in common.

And remember, safety ALWAYS comes first. Your life is far too valuable to risk it for someone you barely know and who could hurt you. Be smart!