Have you ever asked yourself why we find some people attractive and others not? Or why sometimes a person that doesn’t seem attractive to us eventually becomes so? Is it their physical appearance, their personality, or something else? Science has an answer to that.
There are actually a number of factors that influence our attraction to others, both biological and psychological. The science of attraction is a fascinating field that helps us understand this complex and mysterious phenomenon.

But first, what is “attraction”? It’s the feeling of being drawn to someone. And it’s a fundamental aspect of relationships, usually the first catalyzer between two people, which paves the way for a deeper emotional bond. But that attraction is complex and results from biological and psychological factors.

Biological Factors of Attraction

1. Physical Appearance and Symmetry: This is perhaps the most obvious biological factor that influences attraction. While there might be cultural and individual preferences in what is considered attractive, evolution has wired us to be drawn to certain physical traits, which are often indicators of good health and reproductive fitness. Facial symmetry, for instance, is considered attractive because it is linked to genetic robustness. Other characteristics, such as clear skin, symmetrical facial features, and a waist-to-hip ratio of around 0.7 in women and 0.9 in men, tend to be perceived as appealing. For example, the waist-to-hip ratio in women is considered “attractive” because of evolutionary biology, as larger hips indicate more space for babies to develop and, therefore, fertility.
   
2.  Hormones: Hormones, such as testosterone and estrogen, play a significant role in attraction. Testosterone is associated with increased libido and desire, while estrogen affects aspects of femininity and receptivity. Other hormones, such as dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, are released when we are around someone we find attractive. This can lead to feelings of excitement, anticipation, and desire. 
   
3. Genetics: Our genes also influence our attraction to others. For example, people are statistically more attracted to people whose genetic makeup would allow their own DNA to survive. That’s why people with blond hair and blue eyes tend to marry people with such characteristics because these are both recessive genes. 
   Other studies, a 2009 (by Professor Maria da Graca Bicalho) and a recent 2022 study (by Dr Summer Mengelkoch), have shown that people are more likely to be attracted to others with a different immune system than their own. While we still don’t know how we can determine someone’s immune system competence, it seems that our olfactory system has the ability to detect it. This difference in immune systems taps into our biological need for healthier offspring.
   
4. Pheromones and Olfactory Cues: As we have seen, our sense of smell plays a role in attraction. Humans, like many animals, release chemical signals called pheromones that can influence attraction. These odourless substances are detected through the olfactory system and can impact our perceptions of someone’s attractiveness and compatibility. While the role of pheromones in human attraction is still an area of ongoing research, studies suggest that they may play a subtle role in shaping initial impressions.
   

But not all can be explained by biology. That’s when the psychological factors enter, being just as important.

Psychological Factors of Attraction

1. Similar values and interests: The concept of “birds of a feather flock together” rings true in attraction. People tend to be drawn to others with similar attitudes, values, interests, and backgrounds. This phenomenon, known as “similarity attraction,” fosters a sense of understanding and connection between individuals. This is because they have a greater chance of getting along and having things in common. Or, as my grandmother always says, “Tell who you surround yourself with, and I will tell you who you are”. 
   
2. Familiarity and Exposure Effect: The more we interact with someone, the more attractive they can become to us. This is known as the “exposure effect” or the “mere exposure effect.” Familiarity breeds comfort, and as we spend time with someone, our brains become more accustomed to their presence, leading to increased attraction.
   
3. Sense of Humor and Intelligence: Good humour and intelligence are often cited as desirable traits. Wit and humour can foster positive emotions and bond people together. It’s also more agreeable to be with someone that helps you see the lighter side of things, especially when going through the hardships of life. At the same time, intelligence is associated with problem-solving abilities and adaptability
   
4. Emotional and Intellectual Compatibility: Emotional connection and intellectual stimulation are critical in forming deep and lasting bonds. When individuals share similar emotional needs and intellectual curiosity, it can lead to a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.

As we can see, attraction is a multifaceted phenomenon shaped by biological and psychological factors. While our biology primes us to notice certain physical cues and respond to chemical signals, our psychological makeup drives us to seek compatibility, familiarity, and emotional connection. Understanding the science of attraction not only increases our knowledge of human behavior but also allows us to appreciate the complexity of forming meaningful relationships.

But at the end of the day, remember that authentic connections are built on a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. While initial attraction may be driven by biology, the journey towards love and partnership is guided by the more profound psychological factors that draw us closer to one another.